


Old steps, new steps

by boonki



Series: Boonki's obikin oneshots and drabbles [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Darth Vader Needs a Hug, Ficlet, Gen, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Obi-wan apologizes, Pre-Slash, i love a good redemption arc, i wish these two would've just talked it out yknow, post-mustafar, vaguely suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:53:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28259508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boonki/pseuds/boonki
Summary: Five years after Mustafar, Obi-wan is tired of grieving, and decides to see his dear friend once more, likely for the last time.Brought on by the prompt:“When the hell did you get here?!”“I got bored of waiting around for you to kill me so I wanted to see what you were doing.”
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Series: Boonki's obikin oneshots and drabbles [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2201706
Comments: 3
Kudos: 148





	Old steps, new steps

It had been years since Obi-wan had seen the inside of a ship, let alone the glistening and polished interior of a star destroyer. Being voluntarily isolated on a desert planet limited the number of interactions he had with the Empire, for which he had been immensely grateful. His humble living space was already littered with memories, knick-knacks, and repressed feelings; he had long since abandoned the idea of using a mirror, not wanting to see his own measly reflection. 

The Empire was the last reminder Obi-wan needed of his own failures. 

Obi-wan twisted Anakin’s padawan braid around his fingers, one of the few things he had let himself be sentimental about in the years that followed Anakin’s fall. He had to hold onto the good memories, be reminded of the years that he had practically raised the boy. The hair was still golden in the braid, memories still golden in his head. 

The tractor beam of the star destroyer pulled him in slowly, and it gave Obi-wan a moment to sit in peace, his fate pulled too far towards his own demise to change the course now. He knew he wouldn’t walk out of here alive. 

The thought brought odd comfort. 

He pulled his force signature into himself, stifling it down to the point of discomfort and pulling up his shields as sturdy as they would go, not wanting Darth Vader to notice him before he was ready, though he knew that there was only a slim chance Vader wouldn’t recognize him immediately. They had known each other almost better than themselves, or at least Obi-wan had thought, their force signatures so entwined sometimes it had been hard to tell where one began and the other ended. There had been secrets between them, of course, truths too hard to bear witness to, but there had still been a level of trust he had never been fully able to comprehend. But now, having lost the regular, calming presence in the back of his head that he had grown so accustomed to, he didn’t want to feel how tarnished Anakin had become, how void of life, how lonely. If Anakin was even in there at all. He didn’t want to even touch Vader’s mind. 

Yoda had tried to bring him semblances of comfort during the years after Anakin’s fall, claiming the man he had known and loved had died on Mustafar, replaced by Vader. That the man in the mask was only an empty shell. And for years, Obi-wan readily believed this, desperate to find solid ground in the sinking sand his life had disintegrated into. 

But he knew better. He had years to mull it over, meditating on what he could have done differently. He knew Anakin had not simply turned to the dark side one day, that it must have been a gradual descent, and if it were gradual, it was done by putting one foot in front of the other. Anakin had walked away from him, and that stung. 

No, not stung. It was the worst thing Obi-wan had ever endured. 

His ship landed roughly in the hangar, jolting him out of his own head. He stood, bending backwards to pop his lower back, and let out a hefty sigh, shutting the ship down and popping the cockpit open, lifting an eyebrow at the small gang of troopers that had gathered outside of the ship, all pointing their rifles at him. The dim white lights of the hangar reflected off of the tops of their helmets, making them glow a bit. 

“Hello there,” he started, swinging his legs over the hull to stand on the ground, landing only with a slight twinge in his knees, which he met with an imperceptible grimace. He wasn’t used to flying long distances anymore. “Is Vader around?”

“Halt!” One of the stormtroopers commanded, taking a step towards Obi-wan, holding his rifle steady at Obi-wan’s chest. “State your purpose.” 

Obi-wan cocked his head, smiling patiently, tucking his hands into the sleeves of his long, tan robes, the ones Anakin used to hate for their beigeness. “I thought I just made that clear. I’m here to see Darth Vader, unless he’s busy at the moment, in which case I am more than happy to wait.” 

The peaceful sentiment seemed to disorient the trooper, who glanced back towards the group wordlessly. Judging by their lack of reaction, none of them quite knew what to do, didn’t have any protocol to follow. Obi-wan guessed Vader didn’t get many visitors. None that came voluntarily, that is. 

“State your name.” The stormtrooper continued, never moving his rifle away from Obi-wan’s chest. 

“Obi-wan Kenobi. You’ll find our friend knows me very well, if you wouldn’t mind passing along my greetings.” 

***

Obi-wan wasn’t entirely sure where they had been trying to escort him to, as, after turning through a few nondescript hallways that dripped in black and white monotone, Darth Vader made his entrance, and Obi-wan had to hold back the small smile at how the menacing figure never lost his dramatic streak: some part of Anakin lived on, even if it was the part of him that had given Obi-wan premature grey hairs. His black cloak billowed behind him as he had turned the corner, and after letting the amusement pass through him, shock and horror crept up the back of Obi-wan’s throat. 

This was what he had done to Anakin. 

No- this was what Anakin had done to himself. 

They came to a stop, meeting in the middle, leaving a good distance between themselves.

Obi-wan lowered the hood of his robe, knowing that Vader already knew who he was, but letting him get a better look at him. Letting him see the wrinkles and sun-spots that had peppered his face in the past five years. 

Silence stretched in the gulf between them, tense and unwavering, almost palpable. Obi-wan took in every inch of him: the long black suit that gave him a few extra inches to his already tall stature, the dark helmet that glared hatred back at the viewer, the life support panel strapped to his chest that allowed for the heavy, static breathing. Obi-wan thought of Anakin, his dear, beautiful boy who loved open, free spaces, trapped forever inside this hulk of metal. 

Vader lifted his eyes to the stormtroopers that flanked Obi-wan, and to his surprise Vader sounded a little unsure of himself, as if genuinely taken aback. Maybe Obi-wan had hid himself better than he had thought. “Leave us.” 

They did so without hesitation, leaving the pair alone in the hallway, letting fate take its course. 

Obi-wan swallowed, trying to push down the lump in his throat. “Hello there.” He sounded old, heartbroken, and strangely tinny to his own ears. 

“When did you get here?” Vader asked, genuine confusion lacing the hatred of his tone. 

Obi-wan considered the truth, and landed on a joke to cushion it instead. “I got bored of waiting around for you to kill me, so I wanted to see what you were doing, old friend.”

Vader rushed forwards, grabbing Obi-wan by the throat with a snarl, the force swirling with darkness around him. “I am not your friend. You were merely a pawn stopping me on my path to greatness.” Anger hung on every word, even through the raspy vocalizer the words had to filter through. 

Obi-wan grasped Vader’s forearm, not trying to push him off. “I was only a pawn?” he tried to laugh, but Vader’s hold on his throat was too strong, “you were everything to me, dear one.” He rasped out, his windpipe slowly being crushed by Vader’s firm grip. 

Vader pushed him away, sending Obi-wan stumbling backwards in a coughing fit, righting himself through the force, and even through his shields he could feel the surge of fury seep into the force at the endearment, and wasn’t at all surprised when the room glowed by the light of Vader’s lightsaber. 

Obi-wan had come prepared to die, but the glimmer of red bouncing off the edges of Vader’s suit solidified what was happening. It didn’t seem real until then. 

A small part of Obi-wan had hoped Anakin wouldn’t have been able to kill him, that whatever had been between them would be enough. It hadn’t been in the past, Obi-wan thought bitterly. 

Obi-wan watched Vader take a steadying breath, twirling his saber around like Anakin had always done before deciding the best plan of action. 

“I have dreamed of killing you, Kenobi. Of letting you burn and suffer the same way you let me suffer. I’ve had dreams of cutting off your limbs one by one until you had nothing left.” The words were cruel, frightening almost, if Obi-wan hadn’t been able to hear the small, scared child underneath the wrath. 

“Bit dramatic don’t you think?” He answered, hitting the k hard at the end of the sentence, readjusting his robes from where they had slid sideways with Vader’s shove. “Well, get one with it then. I said I had been waiting.” 

Even through the suit, Obi-wan could sense his hesitation. “Aren’t you going to fight?” Vader asked him, as if challenging him. 

Obi-wan drew in a long suffering sigh, like he always did before diving into a lecture. “No, Anakin,” Vader’s body flinched at the name, “I don’t think I will. We fought before, and it didn’t quite work out for either of us. I’ve accepted that I failed you as a Master, as a… friend. I’m sorry you didn’t feel that you could trust me. You deserved better than what I had given you, and now I am here to atone for it. I’m ready to be one with the force.” Obi-wan exhaled, pursing his lips together. That was probably the most words he had said in one go in a long time, and something in his chest loosened, unraveling with the confession. 

There was a lull in the conversation, as if Vader needed a moment to consider what Obi-wan had said. To be fair, Obi-wan thought, this was probably not how Vader thought his day was going to go. 

“You came here… to apologize?” All of Vader’s anger had fled, leaving only sincere distress. 

“Well,” Obi-wan smiled, mirth creasing the edges of his eyes, “I didn’t quite think I’d make it this far. But yes, I suppose I did, in a way.” 

Vader drew back in his lightsaber, the hallway descending back into darkness, only the dim lights of the walkway illuminating their faces. 

Obi-wan wanted nothing more than to let his shields crack just a little, just to reach out and see what Vader was thinking. But as soon as a tendril of the force brushed up against Anakin’s mind, he was thrown back into his own head, sharp and dangerous. Vader clearly wasn’t ready for that. 

“Come.” Vader ordered, turning on his heel and marching into the depths of the ship, not waiting for Obi-wan to follow him. With only a twitch of the eyebrow to betray his bafflement at the change of heart, Obi-wan followed.

Anakin had once left him like this, step by step into the dark side, going to a place Obi-wan could never follow. He could only hope these new steps lead somewhere different, somewhere brighter, somewhere they could meet in the middle. He supposed he’d have to start walking to figure out.

**Author's Note:**

> I got bored and wrote a thing! If you want more of this, find me on tumblr @boonki and leave me a prompt in my inbox! 
> 
> I really didn't know where I was going with this, but we love a hopeful ending. I love a good redemption arc.


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